These days have been filled with “small,” at least that is how I have been feeling about them. I do small things like wipe my husbands brow, greeting folks in my community as I go to buy eggs, make tea, go and buy medicine, drive him to the clinic, wash a load of sweaty clothes, and carry small buckets of water into the house to do other small chores. I have small energy stored up, and it is gone by lunch, and the rest of the day I’m running on…less than small. I have small ripples that remind me there is a small person in my not-so-small belly. I have small children coming during small openings in my day. I find my clothes are too small for my body, and my energy too small to complete my big plans. I feel I’m always trying to fit too much into too little.
With all these “small” things in my schedule, I find my plate to be quite full! I feel overwhelmed by the hugeness of these small tasks!
This is what I’m thankful for, however. Zach asked me to buy small buckets because the bigger ones gave me little aches on my sides when I was carrying water. I love my small buckets, actually. They don’t carry as much water, but I don’t feel like I’ve made my baby angry with me and my body revolt by carrying them. I’m thankful that when I carry small buckets, water still gets moved, jobs still get done. Maybe this is a time in my life when the small buckets are just the right size, and I have to not feel wimpy carrying what is manageable. This goes against my farm girl mentality where bigger muscles, bigger hay bails, and bigger pumpkins make me feel like I’m a success. I thank God for times when all he asks us to carry are small buckets.