Fat and Simple

 

Here’s the fat and simple truth: Culture learning is as simple as joyfully and graciously accepting the words, “You are fat!”  and “You are so simple.” What? Does that sound strange?  Well, after 14 years in Africa, those words still make my mind do a cultural calculation.

 

Step 1. You are “fat”  most likely means “You are pretty, you look healthy or you look good!” When told, “You are looking good,” it may mean, “You are fat!” In other words, it’s a compliment, and should be taken as such!

Step 2. Being “simple” means I’m uncomplicated, friendly, easy to get to know.

Step 3. You are fat + You are simple = You are blessed and a blessing

 

Culture learning is a bending of the mind, a receiving and rejoicing in the diversity of God’s world, and often laying aside my own culture to embrace another. The longer I live outside of my home culture, the more I realize how much I don't know and understand (I think that's true of life with God and people in general.)

That's the fat and simple truth of culture learning.

Thank You Power Company!

I wrote this when we first arrived...I'm getting used to things happening at a different pace. 

 

Dear ONIT*,

I know you, my local power company, have a new name, but the old one is still celebrated every time light returns.

I want to write to thank you, ONIT, for the welcome you gave us on our first night back. The house was peaceful, the children getting zipped safely into their mosquito tents when I momentarily left the room for a second twin.  At that moment, you decided that you'd been generous enough, and the world went black.  If we'd been outside, I'm sure we would have shot our heads toward the heavens and gazed at the wondrous starry host, but alas, we were inside, without a torchlight or candle in sight. (Since we couldn't see anything.)  

And in this moment, ONIT, you did us a great service.  You gave us the terrified shrieks of Lydia who I rushed to and scooped into my arms.  She has forgotten that these blackouts happen and that they only last a few minutes (at least in our compound because we have a generator). Our conversation that you initiated gave great insight as I held my little girl, and it went like this: 

"I can't see you!" 

"I'm right here." 

"But I can't see you!" 

"Lydia, can you feel me?" 

"Yes, but I can't see you!" 

"Am I here?" 

"Yes, but I can't see you!" 

"Mommy will not leave you in the dark.  I will hold you. I love you.  You are safe." 

"It's too dark!  I can't see you!"

My generally joyful, trusting Lydia was so afraid of this darkness you ensued. A darkness she had never experienced before, and which made her question my ability to protect her, to know what she needed. ONIT, you may not be able to appreciate this conversation with my beloved child fully, but it reminded me of myself and my Father God.  You see, I'm going through transition, and very little is in order or straightforward. I ask God to show me himself.  I want to look into his eyes and let his gaze reassure me, but sometimes he just wants me to let him hold me in the darkness.  I cry for him to be more real, when the reality of his presence has never changed. 

All this to say, I was thankful for this moment that the Father used to remind me of his character.  On the other hand, I've learned this lesson now, so no need to continue taking light in the future. 

Your dependent patron, 

Christy 

 

*Pseudonym

 

What to pray for: Prayer (3 of 3)

I headed north on US-31 enjoying the Michigan countryside.  Suddenly, I realized for the first time in years, I had no schedule and no one expecting to see me.  I could do whatever I wanted.  I pulled off the road, and stopped under a bridge where I had been fishing once.  I stayed for hours, then left driving on back country roads to a lovely cottage by a lake where I spent the next three days doing whatever came to my mind at the moment.  There were no crises or challenges to overcome.  As planned, I just read, ran, kayaked, doodled, took pictures, ate and slept... and enjoyed doing it all alone with God.  It was incredibly freeing!

I have discovered that I am a habitual planner.  When first confronted with a challenge my immediate response is to analyze the problem and make a plan for how I will fix the problem.  This might seem good, but it isn't.  Instead of praying about things, I try to solve them my own way.  I get excited about my ideas and then feel bad when they don't work out.  If I were to sit and write down all my incomplete plans it would be immediately obvious that I want do a lot more than one person can actually do with the days I am given.  I guess I am somehow addicted to getting things done, trying to do a lot on my own.

So I want to learn a new habit, praying first.  Not waiting to get stuck before I start praying, but praying when I first encounter a new problem.  Can you join me in asking God for this habit?

(This is the third and final post on prayer requests arising from my Daddy Retreat.  Can you join me in thanking God for this beautiful time of rest and fellowship with him, and for specifically answering my prayer to show me what to pray?)

VISAS!

 We expect our Visa applications for Acacia and Olivia are now in the embassy in New York. 

Pray that they'll come in time for our departure at the end of this month!

Make Up or Make Over

 This morning I woke up with 25 minutes to get my family out the door to church. 

Zach groggily sat up and started doing his Bible memory verses.  I protested, "Honey, we have 25 minutes!" I left him in the bedroom, feeling a bit annoyed as I headed toward the sounds of my happy little girls who needed dressing and hair brushing.  Ten minutes later, I got my African dress on I had reserved for the conference and quickly reminded my husband working on his memory verses that we now had 15 minutes before we needed to leave, once again leaving in a huff.

As my mostly dressed children were eating breakfast, I put on some blush over pale cheeks and reached for the mascara.  At that moment a question pricked my heart.  "Why do you think that you putting on make up prepares you better to go to church than Zach memorizing verses from Matthew?" 

Point taken.  My husband was focused on preparing the place where love, joy, power, and peace flow from a satisfied-in-Christ heart. I too often am focused on the things in the periphery of the heart of God. When I think of my little girls and those observing my life, where do I want them to put their most devoted attention, invest their most precious moments of demanding days?  I would really love to say with Paul, "Follow me as I follow Christ," instead of "Follow Daddy 'cause he is following Christ."  I want them to see me investing in the things that last forever because only those things bring true joy and beauty!

I have a tendency to say, "Just this once," but when "just this once" becomes a pattern that doesn't lead to life, then I am not giving myself grace, I'm giving myself an excuse. I'm trying to justify a life that is not full of everything beautiful as God intends it to be. Instead, I have been satisfied with make up when I could get a make over of the heart that will reap priceless rewards today and for eternity.

What to pray for: Humility (2 of 3)

While on my retreat, I really hoped to come away with something big to ask God for in Nigeria.  I wanted some big prayer request we could put out there and ask you all to join in praying.  But while on a run one day, I was struck that what I most need to ask him for is humility.

I am too attached to the success or failure of my projects, and I let my emotions get wrapped up in this.  And then there is the habit of saying or doing things so people will think well of me instead of thinking well of God.  And these habits slowly destroy me and my ability to truly serve God.

Please join me in asking God to rework my heart with him fully at the center.

[Note: As a result of this, humility is included among the things we are asking you to pray for on our new prayer card.]

What to pray for: Family (1 of 3)

At the end of June, I went away for a "Daddy Retreat" and asked you to "join me in the 'pause' to ask God what he wants us to be praying for." I planned to "run, kayak, sleep, read, and pray," and that is just what I did.  Sometimes when I was running, sometimes when I was reading, and sometimes when I meant to be sleeping, I found myself praying, and found that over the three days God has given me at least three things to pray for.

The first thing to pray for is my family.  In 2020 nearly all the prayer requests on this blog have been for our family so far, so why yet another one?  I love to read fiction by Randy Alcorn, and during this retreat I read about two thirds of his novelization of the movie "Courageous".  I was surprised that even when the movie comes first, the book can still be better!   The movie made me laugh and cry when I first saw it, and the book made me laugh and cry, too.  It also prompted me again to think about eternity and about my role as a father.

When I have heaven's resources just an ask away, why don't I pray blessings over my children more often!?!?  I found myself delighting in lifting my family up to God one by one, and I want this to become a habit.  Please pray that it will become a habit, and if you choose to do so, make a habit of praying for our children, too!

 [Note: Although the retreat happened in June and this three part blog series was originally written in July, the resulting prayer requests are still as relevant in October as ever!]