VISAS!

 We expect our Visa applications for Acacia and Olivia are now in the embassy in New York. 

Pray that they'll come in time for our departure at the end of this month!

Make Up or Make Over

 This morning I woke up with 25 minutes to get my family out the door to church. 

Zach groggily sat up and started doing his Bible memory verses.  I protested, "Honey, we have 25 minutes!" I left him in the bedroom, feeling a bit annoyed as I headed toward the sounds of my happy little girls who needed dressing and hair brushing.  Ten minutes later, I got my African dress on I had reserved for the conference and quickly reminded my husband working on his memory verses that we now had 15 minutes before we needed to leave, once again leaving in a huff.

As my mostly dressed children were eating breakfast, I put on some blush over pale cheeks and reached for the mascara.  At that moment a question pricked my heart.  "Why do you think that you putting on make up prepares you better to go to church than Zach memorizing verses from Matthew?" 

Point taken.  My husband was focused on preparing the place where love, joy, power, and peace flow from a satisfied-in-Christ heart. I too often am focused on the things in the periphery of the heart of God. When I think of my little girls and those observing my life, where do I want them to put their most devoted attention, invest their most precious moments of demanding days?  I would really love to say with Paul, "Follow me as I follow Christ," instead of "Follow Daddy 'cause he is following Christ."  I want them to see me investing in the things that last forever because only those things bring true joy and beauty!

I have a tendency to say, "Just this once," but when "just this once" becomes a pattern that doesn't lead to life, then I am not giving myself grace, I'm giving myself an excuse. I'm trying to justify a life that is not full of everything beautiful as God intends it to be. Instead, I have been satisfied with make up when I could get a make over of the heart that will reap priceless rewards today and for eternity.

What to pray for: Humility (2 of 3)

While on my retreat, I really hoped to come away with something big to ask God for in Nigeria.  I wanted some big prayer request we could put out there and ask you all to join in praying.  But while on a run one day, I was struck that what I most need to ask him for is humility.

I am too attached to the success or failure of my projects, and I let my emotions get wrapped up in this.  And then there is the habit of saying or doing things so people will think well of me instead of thinking well of God.  And these habits slowly destroy me and my ability to truly serve God.

Please join me in asking God to rework my heart with him fully at the center.

[Note: As a result of this, humility is included among the things we are asking you to pray for on our new prayer card.]

What to pray for: Family (1 of 3)

At the end of June, I went away for a "Daddy Retreat" and asked you to "join me in the 'pause' to ask God what he wants us to be praying for." I planned to "run, kayak, sleep, read, and pray," and that is just what I did.  Sometimes when I was running, sometimes when I was reading, and sometimes when I meant to be sleeping, I found myself praying, and found that over the three days God has given me at least three things to pray for.

The first thing to pray for is my family.  In 2020 nearly all the prayer requests on this blog have been for our family so far, so why yet another one?  I love to read fiction by Randy Alcorn, and during this retreat I read about two thirds of his novelization of the movie "Courageous".  I was surprised that even when the movie comes first, the book can still be better!   The movie made me laugh and cry when I first saw it, and the book made me laugh and cry, too.  It also prompted me again to think about eternity and about my role as a father.

When I have heaven's resources just an ask away, why don't I pray blessings over my children more often!?!?  I found myself delighting in lifting my family up to God one by one, and I want this to become a habit.  Please pray that it will become a habit, and if you choose to do so, make a habit of praying for our children, too!

 [Note: Although the retreat happened in June and this three part blog series was originally written in July, the resulting prayer requests are still as relevant in October as ever!]

Interruptions Part 2

 

After thinking about ministry and interruptions being the "real stuff of ministry" (See Interruptions part 1), I considered what my every day in Nigeria looked like before I returned to the United States.  I pictured with awe, like a slideshow before my mind's eye, the startling truth of how God has been revealing this truth to me over the years. 

Here are some of those slides for you: 

Interruptions slide 1: 

I'm behind the camera.

See a group of young men, gathered under a tin roof eating ramen noodles with eggs prepared by one of their friends with layered flats of eggs, loaves of white bread, and boxes of different kinds of ready to cook noodles (we call it Indomie).  See the three white ladies with a little toe-headed girl who have arrived to eat.  The oldest of the three white ladies asks the guy next to her what his language is.  Upon hearing it, she quickly glances through the list of audio Bible's on her husband's phone, which she's borrowing because her own stopped working.  She's a bit clumsy, but when she finds the language, she presses play and the young man looks at her stunned as his language speaks God's words to him. He takes the phone from her and listens before passing it on to the other guys around the Indomie shed.  They smile, humming in pleased agreement before passing it on.  When it gets back to me, the older white woman in this case, the young man asks if he can get it.  With his help, I figure out how to use the app and send him as much as will fit on his phone.  He excitedly tells me he'll give it to the others. I have yet to follow up to give him the rest.  May God be planting his seeds in this young man's heart. 

 

Interruptions slide 2: 

Children going home after Bible study.

I finally have a moment to think about the Bible lesson for the evening's children's Bible study when the intercom phone rings and our guard, Daniel, on the other end tells me there are 5 children there to see me.  I ask for their names before telling him to let them in.  In less time than it takes me to wrap a skirt over my shorts, I have happy greetings at my door.  I welcome my little friends in, cut them a watermelon, and ask them what they learned in school.  They ask if they can go play. They race to the swings, but one lingers to tell me how they are not understanding social studies in school, and could I help them.  We look at her homework outside on the picnic tables while her friends squeal and giggle on the swings. They all pile in the car 2 hours later and we head to Bible study together...I've looked over the lesson, and gathered my materials hastily on my way out. 

 

Interruptions slide 3: 

The lady I usually buy vegetables from.

 

I have finally arrived at the market with Mariama at my side and Lydia on my back.  Aunty Victoria (my friend and helper) walks alongside me.  She has taught me the importance of greeting everyone and not just getting down to business.  She has also taught me to speak in Hausa, how to bargain gently (not like we did in Cameroon), and how to hide frustration, remaining joyful throughout my market experience.  Everyone greets me by name "Sannu Mama Mariama!" and I reply.  They ask: "How's the family?  How did you sleep? How's work? How's the cold?" I smile and reply.  This happens approximately 30-50 times every time I go to the market.  I think it's what Jesus would do...only he'd know each of their names, stories, life history, and maladies. So, I have a long way to go, but at least I have minor interruptions!  That counts, right?

Interruption slide 4: 

I am heading home from a 7am teacher's training, and I hear a child screaming. I step in.  Things change for that child.

Interruptions slide 5: 

Aunty Mary Jane being cheeky.

We just sat down to dinner, and my dear friend Mary Jane and her sister arrive.  Yeah (Their presence always lifts our hearts)! We all sit down again to eat together.  We talk about highlights of the day.  We share frustrations.  We all laugh and cry a bit.  We do family devotions.  We walk them out, talking about important life "stuff"

Our "family"

Interruption slide 6: 

Mariama's special daddy-daughter date hair.

 

I'm zippy around the house, getting ready for guests arriving that evening. Mariama says, "Mommy, can you play with me?" Mariama has just received paper dolls from her Aunties in the United States.  We sit down on the floor of her room and enter into a different world together.  A world that is controllable, joyful, elegant, and everything beautiful that we want it to be where we can ride horses and eat blueberries in a picnic next to a glistening lake. We feel full and free together. 

 Interruption slide 7: 

We are driving in the United States, and we see a girl walking along the road.  It is starting to rain.  "She looks cold and sad," I say so to Mariama.  She says, "Mommy, we are going to pick that girl up, right? We have to help her." I turn the car around, and offer her a jacket that fits perfectly (someone happened to give me a bag of clothes that day).  We give her a ride, find out she's an addict, pray for her as a family.  Never hear from her again, but I learned that my daughter knows what we do when we see someone who is hurting. 

The real stuff of ministry, the spontaneous, out-of-my-plan stuff happens daily and I pray I don't despise but welcome them!

 

Interruptions Part 1

 Today we talked with my mentor in Scripture engagement in Dallas, Wayne Dye, via zoom.  He and his wife Sally have greatly influenced my life and ministry.  Stories of God working in Nigeria that I've told many times on zoom calls and in person since we've come back to the United States last December felt new as Wayne and Sally resonated and teared up at the thrill and joy of people rejoicing in the Words of life with us.  

I feel so far away from those stories these last few months.  Sometimes it's hard to believe those stories  were my life, and God is still calling hearts to himself and growing the seeds that have been planted by so many through the years in Nigeria.   

I have started school activities with my two older girls.  With the twins on my back, in my arms, or on the floor finding strange bits to stuff into their drooling mouths and Mariama and Lydia engaging at their own levels with various activities, I feel every moment consumes all of my energy.  I do sometimes wonder if God has given me the joy of twins to help me see my weaknesses, and learn to depend on his strength! 

 

I realized why sometimes motherhood has taken me by surprise as I shared with Wayne and Sally. When you prepare to train a group of people, you study the manual, perfect your presentation...and BAM...you see the words or ideas impacting the participants.  It is thrilling!  We know we're bringing something that is wanted and needed, and it is received with such joy! 

Raising children is not like that!  It's totally unpredictable.  Now, very few trainings in Nigeria ever go how I planned, so there is THAT.  BUT, while an explanation of why we don't run through huge mud puddles on the way to church made perfect sense to child one, it sends child two into a tizzy, running straight for said puddle only to fall with a splash, initiating shrill shrieks of despair! 

As I expressed how unqualified I feel in this task, remembering that this is a season we are learning through, Wayne said, "Sometimes we think the interruptions disrupt ministry, when the interruptions ARE ministry." He encouraged me by pointing out that the most memorable moments in Jesus ministry were unplanned.  Ah, may I be like Jesus in this beautiful wonder...He allowed the interruptions of ministry to reveal God's character, inviting his world into relationship with the Father who makes the most of every person and every opportunity.  To use the unexpected moments as Jesus did, and reveal the Father who is never too busy to listen, engage, divulge, bend, hold, and heal.  May I consider this season a time for spontaneous ministry opportunities, welcoming the interruptions with grace and wisdom.   

Dragonfly

Me and Lydia, McCormick's Creek 2020

I needed to go for a walk, to breath, even if it was the muggy Indiana summer air. I stopped to gaze at a dragonfly. It felt as though it was the first time I'd ever gazed upon one. We looked at each other long enough for my breath to slow and mind to clear, caught in that moment, fixed in time. As the dragonfly took flight, in the quiet that had settled over my heart as I gazed on this perfect creation--bulgy eyes inches from my own, incandescent blue lips reflecting the light--I was able to hear the gurgling stream behind me. I heard the swell of the cicadas, the many different birdsongs in the trees all around, and the words, ‘Il est toujours soeur le trone’ (He is still on the throne) that swept over my heart as I gazed up at the dancing leaves of the tree tunnel over this rural Indiana road. Those words that were spoken in greeting to those working in the kitchen by my Cameroonian mother, Maman Gado when she swept into the communal kitchen of the office compound in Cameroon.

Maman and Papa Gado with Mariama 2017

The defeated enemy wants to destroy the confidence we have in our God who sits on the throne. He’s not like Yertle the Turtle in Dr. Seuss' book who was “king of all he could see” on his stone throne over the Salamasond pond, but the King who sees every dragonfly and every heart in every land hungering for him! He sees the sacrifices we each make to bring his love closer to the hurting, longing to join him in his redemptive work. I believe he rejoices in our heart work, as small as it seems, with the never-ending labor of planting, watering, weeding, fertilizing this vast harvest that HE is growing (1 Cor.3:6) for his glory! He says, “don’t grow weary!” (Gal. 6:9) “I am making all things new!" (Rev.21:5)

He also invites me and you to listen as he "delights over you with singing" (Zeph 3:17). I imagined the dragonfly seeing my face over and over with it's thousands of lenses in his tiny compound eyes. What information was he processing about my frazzled hair and tired eyes? I imagined God seeing me over and over, and the unchangable truth that runs through his mind every time my face appears before him is delight and joy because of Jesus! What an impossibly beautiful thought! My flawed being, living out my life like a vapor in the wind, is treasured by the Creator and when he sees me over and over he never gets tired of me! He never wishes I was any different in the fabric of my being than the beautiful one he created. This is so incomprehensible to me for I get tired of myself daily! He is making all things new, including me, but not to destroy and recreate a different person altogether, but to renew in relationship with him. Why would he want that? Why do I matter so much to him? The Psalmist asked the same thing in Psalm 8, and then says, "you created him...and crowned him with glory and honour." This doesn't explain extravagant love, it just adds to the wonder and mystery of the heart of God, the King of the dragonfly, and the King of my heart who becons me to his throne gazing into the eyes of a dragonfly under rustling Indiana archways.

Mariama New York 2018