Soul Memory

My signature article of clothing in this season is my apron!

I started really reading my Bible when I was 13.  That was when my mother went out and bought me a Bible, the Life Application Bible, and I loved it.  It was big and red, and soon it was read all over!  I had an insatiable hunger for the presence of God. 

Through high school and college, I had sweet, intimate times with Jesus.  He spoke through his Word, and I responded with song, poetry, eloquent entries in journals now stacked in a back corner in the US. 

 I moved to Africa and had adventures with God traveling as an MK teacher all over Cameroon and CAR. God was my travel partner, my friend, my ever present joy, the Creator of the green hills we climbed and rivers we crossed in canoes or helicopter.  The discipline of being with God, of hearing his voice felt less like a regiment and more like breathing.  Fluid, necessary, natural.    

Fast forward to 2021, a decade later, and at 9pm four of my five girls are in bed.  We have come to retreat together, leaving Daddy to work in the city and have some quiet time after a week of family holiday.  As the time came to retreat, I became anxious.  How do I start?  How do I sit still long enough to hear God speak, quieting my mind to be in his presence?  How ironic that what was once like breathing left me with a tightening in my chest restricting my airflow. 

Yankari...a warm natural spring flows clear from a huge rock! Truly miraculous!

Our family spent a couple of days resting here.

Then a sweet memory floated into my heart like the scent of fresh bread from my little kitchen oven. I had a sense that this was a moment where soul memory would gracefully usher me back to the place where my heart rejoices in the Lord.  Like when I execute a move I learned in soccer practice in middle school (Over 20 years ago) for a group of surprised soccer campers or show Daso how a hand-off (over 10 years ago) is supposed to work on the track with the baton held and extended in my right hand or salsa after two years  without missing a beat...if God made muscle memory so powerfully to flow from our past to impact our present, why wouldn't he now use soul memory, when I most long for a rest with Jesus, to sense his presence, and quiet my heart? 

I think he will, and I am looking forward to breathing deeply in his presence this week.