Relearning...He Cares?

Taken by one of my little girls during homeschool 2025. 

Do you ever feel like maybe your are as dense as diamond, pressed so compactly that concepts you learn over and over and over again do not penetrate your being to transform your thoughts?  And that maybe you are as rare as a diamond too, for this uncanny capacity to disregard all the whisperings of the Spirit deep in your being over the years doesn't seem to be the fate of all the maturing people around you? 

When I first memorized Philipians 4:4-7 sixteen years ago, I thought that "Always be full of joy in the Lord," didn't need to be said again, but Paul said it anyway, "I say it again--rejoice."  I was pretty confident in my ability to hear it and apply it the first time, but now, I realize how little I comprehend the power of rejoicing and I think I need Paul to say it about five hundred and seventy-eight more times.  It's not old age-o! (Nigerians often put "o" for emphasis, so I hope you understand that I am not OLD!) I'm just thick-spirited, if that is a thing.  Oh, and then the next bit.  

"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything." Right. Of course.  I think Paul had to state the obvious for me, in this very season of my life and all the other thousands of times that I have felt it was just for me in THAT season of my life.  If this was the only verse I ever knew and took to heart and obeyed, it would transform everything about my life and how I handle the hard, currently really, really hard, things that I experience. Like that wasn't enough, he goes on. 

"Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.  Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.  His peace will guard your hearts and mind as you live in Christ Jesus."  The simplicity of this exhortation is astonishingly challenging for me.  My kids find it easy, "Mooooooooommy, I'm huuuuuuungry," says Acacia, who must be going through a growth spurt because after eating 4 servings of spaghetti for lunch, this is the third time this minute she's told me that.  When I finally stop with the last urgent need of putting Blessing on the big potty because the little one is too little and the big one is too big, I give Acacia a snack, and she says, "Thank you mommy, I love you mommy," and gives me a sloppy kiss on whatever part of explosed skin is closest to her mouth. She is at peace, contented, knows she's loved and heard. Any doubt that I loved her has now dissolved like the Munch it (Nigerian cheeto) she is sucking on. If only I could give my need to God and trust he's good, his goodness and peace guarding my heart. 

When I was in Sunday school last Sunday, and the teacher (who happens to be my husband) recited 1 Peter 5:7-8, "Give all your worries and cares to God for he cares for you. Stay alert!  Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour," I immediately started tearing up.  He said, "Think about a care or worry that you have now." And immediately, the roaring was upon me, worry and anxiety clamoring and attacking my faith, grabbing my attention away from the God who cares for me.  I had never realized how similar these two verses are.  Giving my cares to God (Peter) and not worrying about anything (Philipians), helps me to stay alert (Peter) and allows his peace to guard my heart and mind (Philipians) as I live in Christ Jesus. 

I have never been a worrier, had a great capacity to have faith and trust God in a beautifully childlike way! Well, the devil is a roaring lion, and he has figured out that if he can make me not give my cares to God, not pray, then he can consume me with the cyclical thoughts of "is God going to do this thing or not? Does he actually care? What if this all flops?"  It's the age-old temptation he used in the garden to think that God is holding out on me, and I should probably take things into my own hands.  He's not very creative, but he doesn't have to be because my sluggish human will and wandering heart finds dwelling on these devouring questions easier than meditating on my caring God.

Well, I'm onto him.  I may be slow but I've not closed my ears to those counsel of the Spirit's wisperings. The prowling growls that are trying to distract my heart and mind from the truth that God has brought me this far and he cares for me are being disarmed as I cast those cares, heaving them off my weary heart and into his enfolding embrace. He can carry each dream, longing, project, and loved one and mold them into his good pleasure and purpose.  

This season is sweet, with long days of ministry in the area of Bible translation, nurturing young people as they grow, and connecting with Zach on the pickleball court early in the morning.  It is also challenging, as we look at an uncertain date of traveling to the United States for furlough due to paperwork, of the huge task of Bible translation in Nigeria, of pressing needs all around us that we so desire to be wise and discerning in handling.  Pray that we will "give all our worries and cares to God, for he cares" for us. (1 Peter 5) and we know that his "peace that passes all understanding will guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus" (Phil. 4:7) as we unfailingly lay them at his feet. 

If you have cares that we can cast at Jesus feet together with you, please do write and let us know.  

Buying beads in the market.  I love shopping in Nigeria. The colors, sounds, and noises are a sensational bombardment. Invigorating!

Thirteen Years!

Christmas party 2016.  Only one sleepy baby girl and a giddy 10-year-old to shock with mommy kissing Santa in the good 'ol days!

We (Christy and Zach) got to get away for our 13th wedding anniversary on June 29th.  We went to Miango, the place where we went for an orginizational retreat in 2012, three days after I arrived in the country.  The place where, standing next to my future husband gazing over the missionary graveyard, I  told God that I was willing to live and die in this country as so many others had.  Asking in the same breath that he would give me love for his people here and deep conviction of that calling. 

Two months later, we got married in Holland, MI, surrounded by family and friends.  And a month later, August 2012, we moved into our first home in Jos, Nigeria.  I felt called to Zach. I was so homesick for Cameroon, for the community I had made there.  I was filled with expectancy of what God was going to do with us together. A mingling of loss and intense joy as we built a life together. 

We counted over 100 guests in our home the first year we were married, 

 not including the 40 children who came regularly for Bible study. 

We had lots of candlelit dinners those first few years.  Romantic and necessary since we rarely had power. 

From then til now, our family and community has grown.  When I look around, I am overwhelmed by the people God has placed in our lives. People that have challenged, prayed for, and envisioned with us. Like colors in the beautiful fabrics of Nigeria, they are the splashes of life and intricately woven beauty that have hemmed us into this country and her people.  

 

When we got married, Zach was doing language survey and I was doing literacy.  We both moved into Scripture Engagement in 2015 after returning with our masters from Dallas. 10 years later, he's the SIL Nigeria director and I'm at home with 6 girls and community engagements on the side! Zach's term as director will end late 2026.  We don't know what's next, but we've learned that God is trustworthy and his plan for us is for his glory and for our good. 

Please celebrate with us as we drink deeply of these days we have together in Nigeria.